Chocolate and Incompetence

2009-09-01T03:09:00.000-07:00

I am starting my PGCE in 6 days. 6 small days, that seemed rather far away when I first applied. I've got flashbacks of the interview now; sitting infront of a very smart man doing impressions with both hands of french puppets. Well, it must have worked.

The plan is to do my PGCE whilst building up my freelance work, albeit lots of it free at the moment. I'm VERY chuffed that A from Men's Health is happy to receive more pitches from me, meaning I can potentially carry on working for MH Online from home. In the words of my favourite mankini wearer "great success".

I've now got the task of putting a fantastic e-mail of pitches together, my aim is to send a lot, all diverse so at least one will look good. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed.

In the mean time I have submerged myself in TeachersTv.com. Oh shite, capable? Moi?

Tueday at Men's Health Tower.

2009-08-13T02:06:00.000-07:00

I was sad this was my last day!

The office is situated in such a lovely place, on a cobbled street right in the heart of Soho and just a street away from the hustle and bustle of Oxford Street. There are red phone boxes and trees mixed right in with the uber modern buildings, coffee shops and Champers bars.

I loved that the street was always full of black cabs, I learnt pretty quick that they'd rather run me down than let me cross the street...

The third article I was writing was about finding sex online. So, i'm sat as the 'newbie freelancer' checking out some of the naughtiest full kink on webpages out there. What doesn't help is that i'm on the designers Mac meaning the screen is indeed the size of my house.

I loved writing this article as it was something the webpage hadn't seen before.

As we are the technological age I was responsible for updating the mags Twitter page (something i logged onto once and thought so utterly twatty that I abandoned in a huff...hmm) So, I suggested a Facebook page, which Men's Health do not have yet (official anyway!) So I spent the morning uploading articles, info, subscription details and links to the web page! We have had a lot of members already, and I have taken on the responsibility of updating it from home.

I was very sad to leave the offices on the third day. I couldn't see myself at that kind of mag full time, I think having a passion about health/fitness/muscle building is a must...and I like my doughnuts too much. However, I am going to ask to do some more lifestyle articles, men always want to know about sex, relationships and clothes don't they!

Wonderful experience and I'd do it all over again!

My second day at Men's Health

2009-08-13T01:53:00.000-07:00

The second day went much smoother than the first, as to be expected! My second peice of writing was well underway, entitled "Honey, I want a boob job". The peice advised men how to deal with their girlfriends plastic surgery worries! (Sad but it seems common place nowerdays!)

I got a reply from a fantastic sexologist and relationship expert Yvonne Fulbright which really helped shape my article! (It seems mentioning you are freelancing for Men's Health packs quite a punch when asking for help)

What became obvious was my need to learn photoshop! I mastered re-sizing photos and the basics required for uploading articles which was really interesting to see! I don't see webpages as just colourful sources now, but realise the work that goes in to them behind the scenes!

One of my tasks was to trawl the forums and find quotes for the newsletter, which goes out to thousands upon thousands of people (pressure to make the info 100% perfect!). Working online at Men's Health meant looking after the e-mails and forums linked to the webpage. Because of the nature of the magazine they have some very dedicated readers, and some very silly ones....Fridays has become "willy fridays" so we had to delete a lot of willy-based pictures come Monday! Of course I found this highly amusing.

I bumped into the editor whilst humming and making tea (or being a bit confused as to where the tea bags were....) He seemed like a lovely chap, asked me how everything was going and seemed very chilled out! I was proud of myself for lack of brain farts and normal conversation...always helps.

Hit the hay at about 11 so shattered, ready for another 6am start!

2009-08-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

If you don’t like the soppy or sentimental here’s the time to fill your eyes and ears with cotton wool.

I think there are a few key people you meet in your lifetime, who change you irrevocably in one way or another. Some are shitty and break your heart into a million pieces, some fill it with vodka, and some say things which will stick with you for a long, long time.

One such person of mine is G. I’m still not sure university was the thing for me, but I don’t regret a second of it. G shaped me, myself and I. She was my partner in crime, flat mate and general all round blagger, drinker, dancer, joke cracker and fabulous arse of a wonderful person.

If I believed in souls, she’s got a cracking one.

G has recently informed me she is moving to America. Is it possible to mourn a friendship like you do a relationship?

Think my hearts a bit fuzzy.

If my life were to have a theme tune.

2009-08-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfosF1hrOvw

2009-08-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

6am- Immediately thought I should change my alarm ring tone from Bloc Party "This is a brand new problem...a problem without..".

Between 6am and 7am I faffed, blow dried, painted, wrangled and ironed my way into an outfit somewhat suitable for my day.

7:40am Standing on the platform at the train station, looking around wondering where in god's name do all these rich, successful aftershave clad, court heeled men and women come from; as far as I was aware Kettering and the surrounding area was only home to alcoholics and people with 6 toes.

7:41am Train. Seat. Magazine from cover to cover.

9am: Walking along Oxford Street. Have become a bit of a pro on the Underground, zipping in and out of people, pushing the elderly and children out of the way as I go. (I kid.) Loving the hustle and bustle, it's taking my mind of the mess of butterfly carcasses that is my stomach.

9:15 Sat in the window of Pret with the hugest vat of morning tea and a chocolate brownie, watching everyone walking by. Don't think MH would approve of my choice of breakfast. :)

10am I was sat on a huge leather couch, the kind you would picture beforehand. The building is huge and I'm on the 6th floor.

The team, and A who is looking after me is lovely! Welcoming, wonderful and so much more relaxed than I ever expected. I was set to work on 7 pitches, 3 of them were picked as articles to be written, one per day.

The first I was set to was a piece on men's mascara. Tricky, sticky situation if not done properly!

By the end of the day I had been shown lots of photo shop tricks, written my first piece and generally familiarised myself with the office quirks and foibles..

I cannot wait for Monday morning, bring on 6am.

2009-08-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

I am currently compiling an e-mail to the jelly-fantastic gentlemen at Bompas & Parr. They are one of the world leading experts on everything concerning the wobbly stuff. They're not simply kid's party material but have made jelly for Disney World, the London Festival of Architecture and Selfridges.

I'm going to be quizzing them on how to make the perfect vodka jelleys for ilovemygrub.com.

If you want a jelly mould of any shape or size they start at £300.00...eek!

Curiosity killed the...English student

2009-08-05T03:46:00.000-07:00

I'm more than a bit curious about how my day will pan out for the first day of my Men's Health trial! As long as I don't spontaneously combust I have this To Do list...

Outfit

I have a zillion ideas, all of which look much better in my mind than they do on my bod. I want it to be smart but also funky and comfy, at the moment I have simple dark purple top, high waisted black skirt, huge bag (just to carry those things you 'might' need like spare tights, mints, tissues by the truck load, phone charger...) and matching accessories (a ring the size of Pluto. On another note, why do men always hate those?Hmm)

Travel

Tickets need to be pur-chased for three days tomorrow! Once you have those tickets there is no going back. Remember not to loose/scrunch/dribble on them when you fall asleep on the way home.

Feature Ideas

Fore armed is fore warned, right? I know I'll be asked to come up with a lot of pitches and send them over in a specific format, so I'll be thinking, writing and re writing them all down today and tomorrow! Take some pressure off the fizzing brain.

Nose

Check out their whole webpage, read previous subjects, have a look through the forum and generally make myself Men's Health.co.uk Master Mind. Not too much pressure then?

I'm sure there are many things my brain fart is making me forget...this list i'm sure will be added to tenfold!

Gin and Giggles

2009-08-04T04:10:00.000-07:00

This was the feature I helped most with...

Workie Scum

2009-08-04T04:04:00.000-07:00

Hopefully I can start working my way up the list of contributors.... :)

2009-08-02T16:20:00.000-07:00

Sending e-mails asking huge magazines to employ a lowly student doesn't normally work; however out of the zillion I sent one wonderful magazine did get back to me offering me an interview. I was stunned, excited, stunned and then bricking it.

My granny always says "You don't ask you don't get". Them old'uns know a thing or two, don't they?

The role is editorial contributor for Men's Health. I'll be joining them in old Landaan Taan (without the attempt at and Nooorf Landan accents I might add) on Friday the 7th of August.

Now, I'm not holding up much hope for this, it is only my second experience in the editorial environment so I'm going to give it 100% and take everything I can from it!

I have been reading and re-reading the work specification sent through from A, the lovely lady who will be my boss for the length of my interview. I'm familiarising myself with the website constantly, have signed up for their e-mail newsletters and have been reading the constant stream of forum updates; it seems they have a very lively group of regulars.

Their offices are right in central London, so should be much easier to find than those of Front, who were hidden away in a mystical street I'm sure even Santa can't locate.

During my time there they have offered to buy three pieces of work off me; one per day and I'm ecstatic about this! I sincerely hope my noggin can keep up with my enthusiasm and I can really impress them!

Erms, Ahhs and Haha's

2009-08-02T15:54:00.000-07:00

My brain is mashed potato today.

Today I walked into my local Co-Op to buy some last minute "we-live-in-the-country-so-everything-closes-at-four-might-need-pizza-or-ice-cream-tonight" supplies. Along with the inevitable Sunday buys like 4 million cal Phish Food I got the latest issue of FRONT.

Right there in black and white is my name under "workie scum", a strangely proud moment of mine I must say! The usual guy who calls in the products had yet to strike gold with blagging any gin for their boozy test feature so I has been on a mission...
Some of the higher end distilleries and companies got an flowery edited version of the big blag, needless to say I didn't mention it was called "Wasted" and their lovely gin would be marked out of five and probably likened to poop of some kind.

What amazed me was the speed at which the PR companies send out their packages; there was a biker man rather muffeledly asking for me within a few hours, in his hands were jingling bottles. Great, along with gin came smiles in the office. Sadly the replica they were going to make of me out of empty bottles has yet to be made, but i'm still holding out hope...

Of course the official taste test was an office full of twenty somethings getting drunk on a Friday afternoon, but who am I to complain; it's great to see something in print using my quotes and products I'd used a bit'a nouse to get! Right there in black and white was what I had been preparing for since my teens, booze reviews..."It's okay on the way down but the aftertaste is something like an old sock, or licking an old piano". Tears of joy at this point.

Sure you'll agree my review was very professional.

Book Reviews

2009-08-01T02:57:00.000-07:00

Good Morning :)

The lovely ladies sent me a mock-up of my review of Belle De Jour-The Intimate Adventures of a Call Girl.

Their audience are women on the go, so all the features have to be "work break safe". This proved a bit tricky when discussing one of the most sexually frank and risque writers going...

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrum

2009-07-31T06:42:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend loves anything with an engine, I am indeed a car widow!

This was one of the more amazing cars that he got to test out, the KTM XBOW. We're soaking, freezing and hugely happy about it!

The greatest, the greatest..

2009-07-31T06:34:00.000-07:00

My boy turning 21 brought a trip to London to Hard Rock Calling in Hyde Park to see The Kooks and The Killers! The atmosphere was amazing as the evening got darker, everyone was dancing and we were singing at the top of our lungs!

2009-07-31T06:31:00.000-07:00

The babies are no longer babies, the have bums like J-Lo and eat like Rick Waller, and I love 'em.

QUACK

2009-07-31T06:24:00.000-07:00

wonderful stuff.

Pheonix Nights, anyone?

2009-07-31T06:09:00.000-07:00

In the red...uh oh.

In my third year of university I spent too much money on vegetables, books and reading glasses. Or wine, cable and Topshop dresses. Either way, I had to search for a job and was pretty much willing to do anything. One of the funniest interviews I have ever experienced was the inspiration for this feature.

I applied to work in a "trendy inner city bar" . Smashing I thought, instead of drinking the cocktails I'll learn to serve them, maybe burn a few cals whilst running about all evening, listen to some good music and work until 4am, sleep until 1pm.

Alas, this wasn't to be...I turned up at this "trendy" bar and was greeted by a gentleman with a builders bum, a gold tooth and a penchant for calling me darliiiiiiiiiiiiin'.

I couldnt place the smell of the pub, somewhere between a rabbit hutch and old banana.

He told me his big plans for the pub, which included huge neon signs and Sundays allocated to "Strip nights". He politely asked if I would mind the naked ladies, no I assured him. Mindy and Chantel might be some good company I thought....

Roomie Wanted

2009-07-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

In the pink..why not.

During my time at universirty I had a rollercoaster of disasters and fantastic experiences with room mates. My freshers year I lived in a delightful house in Waterway Gardens, a walk to my uni building and next to a lovely park! However I was fated to end up the strangest and oddest selection of roomies (one of which has become a best friend, who says leaving your university decisions to the last minute doesn't pay?)

My second and third years I braved living with G and three other boys- all I can say was that I loved every minutes of it. The chaos, humour, even the dirty socks. They taught me how to cook and forced me to clean; who says women are the fairer sex?

Sun, sea and sand

2009-07-31T06:03:00.000-07:00

2009-07-31T06:02:00.000-07:00

Fun bags ahoy!

2009-07-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

2009-07-30T05:00:00.001-07:00

My first column in Lipstick Royalty is now available to download! The Editor in Chief Rachel Phipps has done a fantastic job! This months features the blogging sensation Gala Darling and loooooots more treats!

To have a read click www.lipstickroyalty.co.uk and download in a few seconds, it's FREE :)

“The first thing you should know is I’m a whore”

2009-07-30T03:12:00.000-07:00

I have plonked my bottom down for the long haul today as I have several features to write and promised to a few different web pages! First to be done is a book review for the busygirlsguide.

I adore the Belle De Jour books, a first class smashing wonderful smutty clever blogger herself, and will be writing a review of her book The Diary of a London Call Girl. Here's a snippet...

"On one side of me was an old man with hairy ears and a knitted jumper, the other side was an air hostess leaning over me serving tea and coffee. I knew it probably wasn’t the ideal moment to be reading about bondage and blow jobs but I literally couldn’t put this book down. On a flight to

Greece

I read the whole thing cover to cover, and felt decidedly naughty about every page."

Busygirlsguide.com

2009-07-30T03:09:00.001-07:00

I'm currently writing for the webpage busygirlsguide.com, the women there are very lovely ladies and have asked me to do several features for them! Very excited as they seem to love my style and are happy for me to have free reign over content and subject!

This is a sneak preview of my first article, I think it looks fantastic!

Don't ask, you dont get, right?

2009-07-29T02:28:00.000-07:00

I have work experience at Zoo magazine this Christmas...on Oxford Street. Hugely excited as Zoo is the biggest weekly mag and I'm sure to learn a hell of a lot, be rushed off my newbie feet and meet some fantastic people! Bring it on...

"Mate, you look rubbish!"

2009-07-29T02:20:00.002-07:00

"Mate, you look rubbish!"

Who says the recession has to keep you in at the weekend! "Not us!!" we cry! So we made some snazzy bin bag dresses that cost us about £1.70 each from Wilkinsons. Shove that in your pipe and smoke it, Vogue.

2009-07-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

I often write for Mookychick! This is a fantastic webpage and Madga Knight the owner said I "write what other people do but SO.MUCH.BETTER".

Lipstick Royalty magazine

2009-07-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

I spent several thousand pounds at university just to have reiterated what I already knew; novels and magazines about sex, men, drugs, fashion, lifestyle, gadgets...are not literature.

Bugger that.

I would often stick my hand in the air and admit to reading a chick-lit, causing the lecturer to wince and several other people around me to be overcome with a sense of academia and keep their mouths shut. My general perception is that anything that is successful and that sells has it's worth as writing!:)

Check out my regular feature 'The Review' in Lipstick Royalty magazine.

www.lipstickroyalty.com

Free to download...

xxx

FRONT

2009-07-28T07:56:00.001-07:00

My first lot of work experience was at the alternative men's mag FRONT.

I absolutely adore the big smoke (something only small town folk are allowed to label it). I sold a liver to afford to commute and roughly had three hours 45 minutes sleep that week.

FRONT had warned me the place was hard to find, and Google Maps supported that it was in fact..in.the.middle.of.nowhere. Just as I found the street the heavens opened. Needless to say that the Monday presented me as a drowned rat, bright red cheeks, squelchy shoes and frizz. Oh so cool. However, I had doughnuts so this seemed to distract the lads for a good ten minutes...

The office was really cool and situated on the top floor of a warehouse, plastered with posters, photos and generally intriguing, er, shite?

I was plonked down, given a few mags and basically told to get on with the FAQ's, right in at the deep end. SINK OR SWIM.

Because the magazine cover with such hard-hitting features I had to research if drinking a pint of wee was healthy. how many times you can legally drive round a roundabout and how many types of urine is usually found on pub peanuts. Needless to say the gentleman at the DSA was wheezing with laughter. Right, maybe should have sent an e-mail..

On the up side I managed to blag the office 8 litres of gin and got to listen to an interview with Frankmusik, he used to keep dead rabbits in his fridge apparently....

I had one of the most eye opening weeks and now know what the pace of a real monthly mag is like! Sadly no models walking around, clebs popping in for a cuppa tea...but I'll take all my weaknesses and put them right for the next time around.

PRO: Only managed to spill one thing.

CON: It was in front of the whole office and they proceeded slowly clapping. Boys do indeed smell.

2009-07-24T02:14:00.000-07:00

I'm a graduate! Yaay! I now have lovely letters after my name and will be a valuable member of any pub quiz team for the odd Shakespeare question, well worth the money.

2009-07-24T01:20:00.000-07:00

Now that I know a blog isn't a new strain of STI or children’s TV character, here I am- a real life blogger. My name's Rhi and I am a wannabe writer! Here I will list all my highs and lows of entering the scary journo world. Hopefully somewhere along my journey someone will want to hire my Bridget arse and let me do what I love for a living. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed.

I'm the kind of girl who gets lost and pooed on my pigeons so I promise to leave all that out and make this as interesting as possible...